The 5 Most Important Things I Learned by 25

In case any of you didn’t know, I turned 25 just this morning (8:30 a.m. to be exact) and wow, what a whirlwind it has been so far.

I have been dreading this birthday for a while now to be quite honest. I had this notion that it was going to symbolize the end of something; my youth, my innocence, my hopes and dreams. Or that it was going to trigger an existential crisis (LOL).

But it has turned out to feel like quite the opposite

I’ve been doing some reflecting on the most important things I have learned and felt like maybe this was a good time to share them. So here we go, the 5 most important things I learned by 25.

1. It’s ok to fail

And you will, numerous times. But trust me, they will all be lessons.

I spent so long looking back on my mistakes and failures and feeling like they were going to define who I was. I thought that they made me a failure, made me less lovable, less successful. When in reality, all they did was teach me things. They taught me what it feels like to fail and how to pick myself back up when that happens. They made me stronger. And they will make you stronger.

So get out there and fail, my darling, because one day you will look back and be grateful that you did.

2. Never stop dreaming

I thought big dreams were only for little kids or highschoolers going off to seek out their place in the world. But you know what? Everyone can have dreams. And its never too late to have new ones.

Maybe that dream you had when you were 18 didn’t work out so well *points to self*. And that’s totally ok. Dream up a new dream and find a way to chase it.

Life is more fun when you have something to look forward to.

3. Take care of your body and mind

We only get one body in this life, so take good care of it. Feed it well, exercise it, take it to the doctor when it gets sick.

And most importantly, TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

Thankfully, this has become so much less stigmatized and it’s ok to talk about our mental health. Just remember that your brain is part of that body of yours and it needs to be nourished all the same.

And always remember that if you are struggling with any kind of mental health illness, please reach out and ask for help, it is always waiting for you. If we are close friends or family, don’t hesitate to talk to me personally. I am always here to talk if you need it.

4. Say what you feel when you feel it

*Deep breath*

This has probably been one of the toughest lessons for me to learn, and I am still not perfect at it. I work on it everyday and I will keep working on it for the rest of my life.

It is so important to say what we feel. And not only to say it, but to say it when we feel it. Life is way too short in some instances and I will be the first to admit that I don’t want to live with any regrets. Its going to be hard sometimes, or maybe uncomfortable, or awkward. But find the words as best you can. And just say them.

We are not always going to be lucky enough to get a second chance to say what we feel. And remember, as we are getting older so are our parents and our siblings and our cousins. Tell them you love them as often as you can. ❤

5. “Stay close to people that feel like sunshine”

I found this quote a while back and it makes me think of certain people in my life.

If you have people in your life that feel like sunshine, then you know exactly what I am talking about.

To me, these people are mostly my family and a few other special individuals that just make me feel whole. And they make me feel like the best version of myself when I am with them. Most importantly, they feel like the sun; warm and loving and bright.

Keep these people close to you. They will keep away the evil in the world, or they will fight it alongside you.

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I have no doubt that I have so much more to learn from the world,

So here’s to the 25 wonderful years I’ve had so far, and to many many more.

Thank you to anyone and everyone that has played even a small role in my life up until this point. You are amazing and I love you all.

Xoxo, Haley

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

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The In-Between

When I moved to New York I didn’t have a job waiting for me. I had a plan, and I had an opportunity that would make me some cash until that plan could be brought to fruition.

But basically I moved here jobless.

For about a week I sat in my apartment alone, bored and completely regretting my choice. Eventually, I got a part time job that made the days pass. Yet it wasn’t something I wanted to last long. Just a couple weeks until I could work out the kinks of my plan.

But a couple weeks turned into a month, two months, and now it’s five months later and still it drags on. I feel stuck in this “in-between” job. A job that was never supposed to be Plan A.

So in order to keep myself going, to see the light at the end of this dreary tunnel, I’ve compiled a list of things to remember in this type of situation.

If you’re stuck in a kind of “in-between” job situation, hopefully this is hopeful to you as well.

1. Don’t stop looking for new opportunities

I get it, it get’s disheartening applying to countless amounts of jobs and hearing nothing back or worse, getting a rejection. Those emails are going to keep coming. The ones that say “we regret to inform you…” But that’s ok. Keep sending in those applications because it’s a lot like the lottery; you can’t win if you don’t platy. You increase your odds of getting an interview if you apply to more positions. So set aside a time maybe once or twice a week to just pound out a few dozen apps and you’ll see results. The law of probability guarantees it.

2. Keep in contact with all contacts

It’s so important to keep in touch with the hiring managers or point of contacts for the positions you are super interested in. They like to see people taking initiative and that might set you apart from every other resume sitting on their desk. So follow up with emails, or phone calls, whichever suits the situation. And don’t forget about the people you know who knows someone, or might know someone. Keep in touch with them as well as they could be the difference between you and another candidate if references play a huge role.

3. Learn to manage your anxiety about it

If you’re anything like me, I let myself get worked up and anxious over everything. Especially when it comes to jobs. I have learned though, that there is only so much I can control. As long as I am doing everything I can, I have to let what happens happen. So fill out your applications, make your phone calls and send follow up emails and then wash your hands of it. If it is meant to be, it will be. Don’t let your daily life be stressful and anxiety ridden over things you cannot change.

4. Don’t lose hope

Super cliché, I know. But I have to remind myself everyday to keep being grateful for the things I have and be hopeful for what is to come. If you find yourself at a low point, lean on your friends and family for support. My mom has been an amazing force in all this for me. She reminds me daily that I can do the things I set my mind to and inspires me to keep going. Find the people in your life that do that for you, and reach out to them in hard times. It will make all the difference trust me.

And if you don’t have someone like that, I’m always here if you need to talk! The Internet is a great place to meet people going through similar things.

 

I think there comes a point where we all find ourselves in some sort of “in-between”. It may be in a job, in a relationship, in a certain living situation, or maybe just in life. We feel sort of lost, but that’s ok. Because the important part is that it is only temporary. And we have to begin to let the word temporary take on a different meaning. It doesn’t have a specific time frame, so why do we always put so much emphasis on it being short lived?

All good things come to those who wait, right?

So let’s at least enjoy the wait and stay excited for all that is to come.

Thanks for reading!

DO’s and DON’Ts of Job Relocation

The one question I got sick of answering when I told people I was moving to New York was,

“So do you have a job lined up down there?” or other variations of the same inquiry.

With a quick smile and a sassy tone of voice I would answer,

“Not really, I’m just kinda winging it!”

Which was mostly the truth. I had somewhat of a plan, but not a solid one (one I would come to wish had been a littlemore solid).

For a while I liked giving that answer. It made me feel young and free and spontaneous. And maybe even a little inspiring to the people who looked at me with envy when I told them about my New York dreams. Eventually though, it got a little exhausting having to repeat myself over and over. And eventually it began to concern me that so many people were worried about my job situation.

“Should I be worried?” I thought.

Before I moved to New York, I was working at a government hospital about 40 minutes from home. My dad also worked there (the main reason I got the job) and we carpooled to work together everyday. It was a good situation. I liked my job (mostly I just loved the people I got to work with), I made decent money, and had awesome benefits. I mean who can argue with paid vacation and sick days?

The other great thing about this job was that I could transfer to any other government hospital in the US as long as my position was available there.

Sounds like the perfect plan, right? I thought nothing could possibly go wrong here.

Well, I was slightly too optimistic at this point…

About a month or so before I moved, I kept checking the postings to see if my position was open in either the Manhattan or Brooklyn locations that would be close to my new home. And there were a few, which I applied to and awaited a call for an interview.

A call, I would soon find out, that would never come.

Long story short, New York is a busy place. The hospital I was hoping to get into was way behind on sifting through applications, something I learned after numerous unanswered emails and phone calls that promised I would be informed of my application status soon. So in order to pay the bills, I ended up just starting work at a retail store, making hourly wage and doing part-time hours.

As this post goes up, I am still working retail. But after months of getting no answers and waiting impatiently for new positions to open up, I have good news to report.

I have a contact from back home, who originally tried to help me make this transfer happen, that has offered to get in touch with the Manhattan location for me and try to push through an interview.

After continuing to apply for any position that I qualified for, regardless of the location, I was asked to do a phone interview for a position a little farther upstate and my application for a position in Albany, NY has been referred to the next step of the process.

Moral of this story is that things may not fall into place exactly when you want them too. But eventually, on their own time, they will. Don’t lose hope.

In the meantime though, here’s a few DO’s and DON’Ts of job relocating that I’ve learned.

1. DO have the job locked down

Apply for jobs plenty of time in advance, get the interview (whether it be in person or over the phone if you can’t travel for it), and have the job offer in your hand before you plan your move. Trust me, it’ll relieve a lot of stress if you know you’re walking into something as soon as you’re settled in your new place.

2. DO contact the right people

You may be surprised who has connections that can be helpful to you. So reach out to the important people but don’t forget about the ones that want to see you land on your feet. Even if they don’t have much power in regards to hiring and relocation, they may just know someone who knows someone who can get you the job.

3. DON’T assume things will work out perfectly

We all know how the saying goes, so just don’t do it. Don’t assume things will just work out. Or that people will do their job when it comes to getting you a position. Annoy them, email them everyday, call them and leave messages. I know it sounds tedious, but the only way I ever got answers was by constantly keeping in contact with the necessary people.

4. DON’T get discouraged

It’s not easy relocating your job and not everything is unicorns and rainbows sometimes. It might be a rough experience like mine was, but don’t give up. Because just when you want to give up, things might start to work out. Exhaust your options and lean on your support system when it gets too overwhelming or stressful.

You’ll get through it, I promise. And you’ll come out the other side stronger and smarter. Which is never a bad thing.

Thanks for reading!